The Dashwood Sisters' Secrets of Love by Rosie Rushton

So... if you've heard anything about this book, you probably already know what a waste of time it is. I picked it up at the library having never heard about it, and of course I would want to read a modern-day version of Sense and Sensibility. Even the bad reviews I read once I got home didn't deter me from reading it.

The result? It really was awful. Yet for some reason, I enjoyed it just enough to keep reading. I say this is a combination of my picturing the Dashwood girls as the recent cast of the 2008 BBC miniseries: Hattie Morahan, Charity Wakefield, Lucy Boynton and Janet McTeer, all in their period hairstyles with "modern clothes." Trust me, it was bizarre. Elinor and Margaret (or "Ellie" and "Georgie") were in overalls, for some reason, and Marianne (or "Abby") was in a red shirt and a black skirt. I don't know why I picture things like I do, but whenever I read a book, settings and characters just look a certain way and then I'm stuck. :P

So, as much as the premise of this book sounds like a good idea — bringing Jane Austen's beloved Sense and Sensibility to the modern teenage world, à la Clueless — it really didn't work here. At all.

There was no character and no storyline that came close to anything half as good as the original. What really bugged me was the pace of the whole thing — the author spent the first half of the novel on the weird situation with "Mr. Dashwood" — who, in this version, has run out on his wife and daughters and married a bimbo half his age. He then dies suddenly of a heart attack, and, as a result of his leaving the estate "Holly House" to his new wife, leaves his old family homeless and penniless. I much prefer Austen's short but satisfying introduction on the Dashwoods, with a loving husband who had nothing to do with the estate being "taken" from the girls.

After all of this boring setup, the rest of the story whizzes by and leaves you wondering where the "fairy tale romances" happened.

Edward — excuse me, "Blake" — is going out with Lucy for no believable reason, and unlike the Austen original, is very much a jerk in that he is not excused for his treatment of Elinor. I mean, Ellie thinks he is a jerk and is angry at him during parts of the book, which is completely untrue in S&S. Then again, I don't know how you would modernize the Edward/Lucy story without tarnishing Edward's charcter, but still...

Abby/Marianne is the most superficial brat who also manipulates anyone she has to to get what she wants — which is usually a date with the hottest "it" boy and drinks at the club. (Keep in mind that she's only sixteen, so I don't know why she is clubbing so easily...) Her relationship with Willoughby/"Hunter" is predictable and pointless — he's the hot, super-rich, arrogant guy who everyone can see is bad news except for Abby. Whereas everyone is supposed to be charmed by Willoughby, so it doesn't add up. The Colonel Brandon/"Nick" character was sweet, though I don't understand why he would ever fall in love with Abby.

Margaret also gets her own storyline/romance. In this version, her name is Georgina (or is it Georgiana? "Georgie" for short.) She's thirteen and is a tomboy who also has a boyfriend by the end of the book. *facepalm*

So, my final advice would be — don't waste your time. Unless, like me, you can't resist and your curiosity gets the better of you, and you feel like something mindless to read.

As a side note, it turns out that this author has written two other teen Jane Austen "remakes" — one of Northanger Abbey and one of Emma. Eeek! Check them out.

Why are all these Jane Austen tributes so terrible? It's like Debra White Smith all over again.

I'm not sure why I gave this so much space, but I really felt like reviewing something. :P Like a big check mark, ticking something off of my ever-growing reading list and accomplishing something, heehee.